Xmas sports gift, what do you really need on a sports tour?

You have either done the Xmas shop by now or you haven’t it is a big natural divide in society with some gender variations. So if you haven’t, what gift idea would the travelling sports fan need in 2009? What could Santa’s Elves knock up out the back in the shed for use in sports travel and tours? After all the intrepid sports tour participant faces some challenges and we often are prepared to suffer for our passion.

When you get to the tennis or you are in pit lane in the blistering heat or your bum is numb and you are half frozen and half dead with worry at the footy you often think, "one of them" would be a good idea or why hasn’t someone invented "x". So I asked the team at Sportsnet holidays what gift would you have the Elves bang out in the shed for this year.

This was their list of ideas:
An easy to fold inflatable travel cushion for a numb bum on the plastic seats at the 20:20 or the Bledisloe Cup. Thermally heated gloves with a USB recharger for those freezing NRL games or winter AFL footy days.An event tee shirt with sun screen imbedded in the right sleeve so every time you wiped your face or neck you topped up your sun screen at the Australian Open or the Johnny Walker Golf.A sports drink with statins or beta blockers in it to lower your blood pressure and anxiety at crucial points in the grand final when your team is looking wobbly.A portable periscope for the occasions when you end up sitting behind a giant at any event but especially the Tennis.A back pack with special non crumple Chip and sandwich pouch for the cricket and those other all day events.A posture enhancing device for those inevitable periods of standing sitting and waiting in general admission areas at the V8 Supercars, F1 or Horse RacingAn MP3 player with AM receiver for serious cricket and other sports commentary. A hat with Camera on continuous stills record so you don’t miss those magic moments trying to get ready for a photo at the Horse Racing, the Superbowl or your only game of EPL while in England.
A credit card that automatically orders and gets delivered either, chocolate, flowers or wine to the other half by remembering the dates of the event from your online ticket purchase so you can enjoy the event with a clear conscience
A dictionary of witty retorts & come backs for all sporting occasions where you get bagged by the opposing fans and various BBQ smart @rses about the performance of your beloved team, country, state or player. A Sports top in team or event colours that doesn’t make you smell and has a sliming factor of 10 in photos and videos.
Finally, a special taxi detector and public transport decoder for getting back to the hotel after the event because we can always get there but for some reason but getting back often turns into a mystery tour.

Have a great Chrissy and I hope stocking (sporting orthopedic support doesn’t sound as nice) contains the gifts you wished for.